Saturday, December 17, 2005

Aha

Love is a weird phenomenon. High as a kite without the consumption of any narcotic substances. I feel it accomplishes an interesting biological phenomenon - almost unconditional attachment. I don't understand why this is necessary - anyone with a rudimentary understanding of business will tell you that underperforming assets should be either made profitable or sold off. Why does a woman need to support her son even if he was responsible for slitting the throats of assorted strangers? Before, you are visited by strange imaginings of me, let me get to the juice, or the rasam as the case is.
So there is this city...
Where the airport looks like a scene from a WWII movie.
Where the auto drivers rip you off.
Where the roads resemble disasters waiting to happen. No wait disasters that have already happened.
Where the coffee places don't have wireless internet. (Bah! What has the world come to I say!!)
etc. etc.
But, you just have to keep coming back for more. Like it is with Madras for me.

There are few things that beat cloudy weather with light rain, a hot cuppa of coffee and the Hindu. Actually, one of those few things is reading the matrimonial section. Here is one I came across:
"IYER Tanjore US, MS, H1B, California, Clean Habits seeks (select adjectives from Slim, Beautiful, Homely,..) Girl with GRE/TOEFL Scores above ..."
So, looks like the application process is going real professional. My BPD (Bussiness Plan of the Day) - How about coming with a (e)M(p)T(y) (MarriageabiliTy) test? This test will take into account all possible factors and develop normed scores on features such as beauty, intelligence, personality, and honesty. With this will follow standardization of the marriage industry. The goal of every self-righteous man, woman and child should be too maximize their (e)M(p)T(y) ness. While we are at it, I guess I should make clear my specific requirements:
1. A good understanding of stochastic differential equations and ITO integrals. Understanding of some of the standard models in the fixed income domain is preferable.
2. Should also know the fundamental approach to stock analysis.
This would help us come up with original trading strategies and increase leveraging of our joint positions in the financial industry. In the long term, there exist good market opportunities for larger ventures.

15 comments:

Sarath Srinivasan said...

love. not a weird phenomenon and hmm..it doesnt really get you high. :). i mean not really high..but i suppose it can give u hang overs.

Anonymous said...

one line summary 4 ur post: There's no place like home :) Lucky prick ... I am stuck here in dreary urbana

BTW check out the music of Rang De Basanti in one word its refreshing ...

Prashanth said...

You been reading the matrimonial section? Getting THAT desperate huh?

Artful Badger said...

[sarath] heh..thats why it is bad...you get hungover without really getting high...downside without upside is a thumbs down..
[jigar] heh...
[prashanth] innocent perusals of different sections of a newspaper shouldn't be wrongly construed...:D....
guess what happened when I told my parents about what i saw??...
[intern] my entry in the matrimonial column?.. I have just put up my entry..right there..stochastic integrals and fixed income..

Divster said...

ok, sweetie.. before u start writing down a list of qualifications for your 'would-be' just let me tell you.. women are not robots! So.. the next time you ask a woman if she knows the fundamental approach to stock analysis.. she would reply "Do you know the fundamental approach to romancing your way through your marriage?" :p Watch out!

Artful Badger said...

arghhhh...that wasn't serious..i was making fun of the guy who was asking for the GRE/TOEFL scores..if he wants GRE/TOEFL scores...I thought..oh ok..so lets go to the next level..why not get a girl who knows some of the market models....
oh well..i know the fundamental approach to romancing..
listen, nod, smile and keep your mouth shut (for safe measure)...

Artful Badger said...

but think about it..if she did..since i am good at quant..we would be rich!!!..
what a partnership!!
just kidding...
i think in these matters the intangible/human aspects matter more than the qualifications/status type things..
don't you think?

Kirthi said...

Seriously!! You read the matrimonial columns???! (My eyes have popped and there they go rolling off..ewww gross) But c'mon man the sports section should have been more interesting. I am sure you haven't given up on womankind like SP, have you?

Prashanth said...

Oh c'mon kk, ALL men have given up on womenkind. Some of them just don't know it yet :P

Anonymous said...

Yah they gave u fighting against womenkind. Now the next evolutionary stage comes..slavery re-incarnated :P

i better stay ananymous in this one!

Anonymous said...

up*
(no kk dont kill me aaaa)

Artful Badger said...

[kirthi] oh well this isn't something i do on a regular basis..it has strange pleasure to it..similar to reading page 3..in many ways its also a sport...albeit an extremely dangerous one!!...
[SP and Kirthi] Heh...well as Buddha states...desires are the root of all suffering...so giving up is a means to happiness...thus has SP agreed too...and it kind of legitimizes my stand!!...
[anon] You mean women are going to subjugate men...since when is that new???...they have been doing it for the last 40,000 years but keep up the pretense that they are the ones being subjugated...they are quite good at PR you see...if you might notice that most destructive wars are because of women..
1. Troy - This Helen lady
2. Ramayana - Sita
3. Adolf Hitler - Because he couldn't get any woman..
See my point :D...

Vc said...

3 cheers for Ramani .. and 6 for Sp.. hic..hic..

Anonymous said...

Wait a sec fellas.. do I see ketaki at the horizon riding a mare and armed with a lance to slash your male heads.. Oooh I'll just wait in the grandstand with div to eat some popcorn.

Ok shall we tell these guys our tricks??

--kk

Artful Badger said...

thanks! i am having a great time here...
oh well..
that hitler thing..
i knew that actually..
this was just a random thing..
no real meaning to it..
hope chicago isn't that bad..
heard the weathere there has been a little better for the last few days.