Suggestions to deal with waning confidence in the financial industry.
Finance needs a facelift. A little bit of a nip and a teeny tiny bit of a tuck. Hide some of that oversize nose (very pointy, very long not so very honest ding dong), crinkly wrinkles, saggy forearms, knocky knees, empty chest, drooping shoulders and huge cancerous mole right in the middle of the forehead. A little bit of powder and strategic dusting will do. If it drops dead before the operation is done, we might need a few strings and some paper clips to fix the smile and keep the body parts moving. Nothing feels better than a job well done.
Alternatively, investing can be converted into the mystical spirituality industry. By doing this all expectations of a profit are replaced by warm fuzzy feelings, which is what life is really about. Collateralized Loans can be renamed 'Joy' and Foreclosed Houses can be renamed 'Happiness'. And we all know that one can never put a price on happiness. Banks and investing houses should have scented candles, and suits should be replaced with Mighty Mystic Garments. Deep resonating music should float solemnly down the hallways and the trading floors should be replaced with large cushions, deep carpets and dim focused lighting, all in dark earthy hues full of love, compassion, companionship, caring and sacrifice. Analysts should call themselves 'Sishya' (disciple), VPs 'Guru' and Directors 'Maha-Guru' (great guru). Profits and losses should be replaced by happiness gained and joy restored. Mark-to-market accounting should be abolished as happiness can never be measured, true joy is immeasurable and all encompassing. Continuing on the theme of true joy, in addition to getting ourselves a bit of 'Joy' and 'Happiness', we should contribute freely to the Gurukul (spiritual house), in the form of 'Guru Dakshina' (spiritual offerings), because life is all Maya (the girl), Mayfair (the place) and Maybach (the car).
Finance needs a facelift. A little bit of a nip and a teeny tiny bit of a tuck. Hide some of that oversize nose (very pointy, very long not so very honest ding dong), crinkly wrinkles, saggy forearms, knocky knees, empty chest, drooping shoulders and huge cancerous mole right in the middle of the forehead. A little bit of powder and strategic dusting will do. If it drops dead before the operation is done, we might need a few strings and some paper clips to fix the smile and keep the body parts moving. Nothing feels better than a job well done.
Alternatively, investing can be converted into the mystical spirituality industry. By doing this all expectations of a profit are replaced by warm fuzzy feelings, which is what life is really about. Collateralized Loans can be renamed 'Joy' and Foreclosed Houses can be renamed 'Happiness'. And we all know that one can never put a price on happiness. Banks and investing houses should have scented candles, and suits should be replaced with Mighty Mystic Garments. Deep resonating music should float solemnly down the hallways and the trading floors should be replaced with large cushions, deep carpets and dim focused lighting, all in dark earthy hues full of love, compassion, companionship, caring and sacrifice. Analysts should call themselves 'Sishya' (disciple), VPs 'Guru' and Directors 'Maha-Guru' (great guru). Profits and losses should be replaced by happiness gained and joy restored. Mark-to-market accounting should be abolished as happiness can never be measured, true joy is immeasurable and all encompassing. Continuing on the theme of true joy, in addition to getting ourselves a bit of 'Joy' and 'Happiness', we should contribute freely to the Gurukul (spiritual house), in the form of 'Guru Dakshina' (spiritual offerings), because life is all Maya (the girl), Mayfair (the place) and Maybach (the car).
