Brb

Oh well, I am back to this thing called 'existence without living' a.k.a. grad school. So all those who were feeling jealous that I was having a lot of fun, be jealous no more, my life sucks just as much as yours. On that fine note...
While flying, I usually get allocated a seat way back in the plane, the good part is that I get in first, which in fact doesn't matter since the plane doesn't leave without everyone getting in, but the bad part is that I am the last to get out, last to get on the immigration queue, last to get my baggage and consequently last leave the airport. So, this time around I asked for a seat as far up the plane as possible. As my luck would have it, I got one right next to the emergency exit. The air hostess is supposed to ensure that the passenger sitting next to the exit is willing to help in the case of an emergency. So, this very South Indian looking overlying smiling air hostess with too much makeup comes up to me and asks -

Delta Smart Air Hostess (DSAH): Do you know that you are sitting right next to the emergency exit? (with idiotic smile)
Me: Yes
DSAH: Are you willing to help in the case of an emergency? If not, I could give you a seat elsewhere in the plane. (with idiotic smile)
Me : No, thats not necessary. I can help.

The conversation until now was carried out in English (not Tamil or French or Spanish or Swahili or whatever). Nothing awry. Nothing out of the normal. Then the following coversation followed, much to my shock and amusement.

DSAH: Can you understand English? (with idiotic smile)
Me: *huh?!!?? This is interesting...he he he* No, I speak English, but I don't understand English. (With a perfectly straight face, dead serious. The passengers next to me started smiling.)

The conversation could have ended here. She gets the joke, smiles and walks off.

DSAH: What? You speak English but you don't understand English. (Genuinely perplexed, with idiotic smile. She didn't get it!)
Me: Yes, I can speak English, but I find it very difficult to understand it. (I had to try really hard to make sure I didn't crack up. The passengers next to me started sniggering. She still didn't get it.)
DSAH: How can you do that?? (Totally lost, with idiotic smile.)

On realizing that she just didn't get it, I was very tempted to go on bullshitting, maybe I could invent a condition that enables me to speak English without understanding a word. However, I decided to let it go.

Me: Oh just kidding. I can also understand English.

Delta-Smart Air Hostess is a very clever pun. I was flying Delta. So Delta-(Smart Air Hostess). The symbol Delta is usually used in mathematics to denote infinitesimally small quantities. So (Delta-Smart) Air Hostess = Dumb Air Hostess.

Anyway its good to be back 'home'. More posts coming up soon.

Hail Alma Mater Dear

Today I visited my school of 12 years, Sishya, with Prahlad. We had studied there from LKG to the 10th. Actually both my brothers also studied/study there. One graduated in 2000 and the other is still in the 10th. Its 'my' school. Though I did spend the last 2 years of my schooling at PSBB, I really don't know too many people from there, apart from those who also got into IIT with me.
The school is a relatively small school, with about 25 children per section and 2 sections per class. When I joined Sishya as (way back in...1986), the school was even smaller. Usually the siblings also went to the same school, and most joined in LKG, with the end result that everyone knew everyone else. Our headmistress Omna is rumored to know every student in the school by name, or so my brother says. I wont be surprised.
So as we walked over to the junior sections we bumped into our aayas (the ladies who handle the very young kids). They actually remembered both of us. They even managed to identify who was whose kid. Not bad if you think that almost 16 years have passed since they last handled us. These junior sections had thatched huts for classrooms. That was quite interesting. Whenever it rained, invariably some water would leak in through the roof and we had to shift places to make sure no one got drenched. The classrooms used to a very distinctive leafy smell. In the summer, the berries used to fall from the trees and that left much scope for berry fights. The senior sections were in a separate building (not in huts). It used to look like a far distant land, with immense mystery. Well now, all the mystery is over.
We met the teachers. My brothers and I have all had the same teachers. Since, I have been the first to get out, I was lucky. My brothers were/are constantly subjected to " Do you know that your brother used to be blah..Why are you blah". Rajesh the canteen guy, the school staff are all the same.
One of my classmates now teaches there. It's so weird. Time flies no? She teaches LKG and UKG and one kutti kid comes up to her and says 'Maam, can I take a chair', we couldn't stop laughing. Shit we are growing old. One of my classmates actually teaches in my school!! I feel sorry for my teachers, they must be finding it so strange (and depressing) interacting with her. In a few years I am sure many of my classmates kids are going to join the school, so strange.
Though we didn't actually know her that well in school (atleast I didn't), the very fact that we were in the same class for 12 years creates a lot of history and for all practical purposes that person has existed for all your living memory. There is always something to talk about. Apparently, she used to sit with me in the 5th, and I used to hit her with a scale all the time, much to her dismay. *Disgusting joke* No wonder I seem to hit it off so amazingly with girls.*End joke* I do remember purloining scales from my dad, but I don't remember hitting anyone.
Invariably, the discussion lead to our classmates - all were tracked, locked and accounted for. No reunion is complete without a general consensus being reached on the class jerks. Also your feelings about school and classmates tend to be at a very deep level. Girls seem to form myriad cliques with rivalries between them and all kinds of other complications, which never really go away. It seems to quite into their psyche. Guys seem to be more easygoing and simple about their feelings - either he is nice (talk) or he is a jerk (avoid). Lots of juicy stories and exchange of 'sundry information' past, current and future (speculated). There was one classmate of mine who got married one day and separated the next day, during a drunken rampage I am sure, a la Britney Spears. Soon after, he became a proponent of the alchohol free life. With classmates like this who needs Vh1? What say?
So much yet so little seems to have changed. The place still looks the same but all those little bambi eyed imps are now gel haired dudes. My kid brother is in the 10th for christs sake!! One of the fun things about having passed out of school is that you go back with the power of hindsight. We tried to guess where each kid we saw would end up. He is going to become the 'CEO' of dads steel plant. Oh him, he is going to be steward on Emirates. Oh she, she is going to be *leave the rest to imagination*.
There was also this incident. We were walking by the kiddie sections and just peeked into one of the classes and continued on. Then this kutti girl came frantically running behind us asking if we were going to report them to the classteacher. She looked soo worried. We had to convince here that we weren't going to rat on her class. We understood ;). Getting reported can be quite irritating. You have to listen to the teacher drone on and give you a full lecture about discipline and blah.
Speaking of teachers, there is this pain-in-the-derrier a terrier of a English teacher. Her parents not being able to stand her sent her off to boarding school and she has been straddled with a 'neutralized' accent ever since. The thing thinks it's gods gift to manking. She should consider marrying her own voice, because she likes it so much, and spends so much time listening to it. Once, when she was teaching an adjoining class, we were making so much noise that she came across from her own class and lectured us for 30 minutes, the duration of the class. She thinks she embodies the 'strong independant feminist' but most people beg to differ. Even the girls (as a species designed to suck up for teachers) hate her. So, she sees us and asks her version of 'Waddup dawg' ( Soh what hahv yuh bin dhoing ohhf lahte?). We answer, she grunts, and walks past, without as much as a smile. No, as a matter of fact she actively scowls. I also noticed that she treats the junior teachers like errant children. Someone should take the initiative and bump her off. We can create a fund to contribute to pay for her supari, in that way all of us can take a share of the good deed. Though, I feel sorry for the devil. Even if he bumps her off, she is going to come right back. Maybe, if he is into Shiv Khera type reading he would make her his prime devil-in-residence (win-win solutions).
As Prahlad says, I think on an average a student in Sishya has a lot more freedom than in any other school. Exams and studies are part of your life and not the very purpose. We never had term exams till the 8th. Our school closed at 1:30, earlier than any other city school. We had more weeks of vacation than any other city school. I think it's a welcome break from schools that are obsessed with performance and marks. But, I think this attitude extends to the parents as well. Most parents in Sishya would protest if the child is overburdened with work. I am sure there are also parents who want to make sure the child is made to study as much as possible in the school. Each to his own. I feel that students from Sishya tend to be more self-assured than most. I think this has lead to the school being sterotyped as snobbish. Of course, each school has it's share of irritating kids, but its unfair to generalize. Though, I do admit that the average student in the school tends to be quite well-to-do and the crowd is quite cosmopolitan.
Anyway, a lot of memories. I could go on and on. Maybe I might add something more to this post later. In sum, life in school was so simple no?

Hail alma mater dear
To us ever near
Help us your motto bear
All through the year

Prahlad has an identical post here. With the same title! We ended up thinking up the same thing independantly!

Chennai Open , Madras (not Chennai nooo!)

The last week was a lot of fun. Bought season tickets to the Gold Flake Tata Chennai Open and went there every single day. I haven't missed a single one of it's episodes since it started sometime in '98. Boris Becker. Yevgeny Kafelnikov. Paes/Bhupathy. Richard Krajicek. Magnus Norman. Micheal Tillstrom. Paradorn Srichapan. Carlos Moya.
Actually, not many people know that there used to be a Challenger Tournament held at the same venue before it became an Open. My grandfather's house is a couple of streets away, and I usually spent my vacations with him. Nobody pays to watch a 400th ranked and 700th ranked player battle it out in the baking sun. So, I used to amble down to the courts after lunch, look at all these tall strong people hit the ball very hard and walk back in the evening. I once remember even sitting behind Leander Paes, see he wasn't very famous then. Actually, he was (he was playing the Davis Cup for India, he beat that South Afrikan guy, famous, does anyone remember him?) but not that famous. Anyway, the Challenger then became on Open.
In it's first edition, a wild card pair in the doubles, Paes and Bhupathy won the doubles, which was their first tournament win of any kind. At that time, Bhupathy was totally unknown. That win gave them seedings in the bigger tournaments and got them winning the Grand Slams and the really high profile prestigious tournaments. Anyway, this year, Rohan Bopanna and Prakash Amritraj, made it to the finals, but lost. I guess it has given them enough points to be given an entry into the Australian Open later this month. Hope they do well! That was also the year of Boris Becker. He had been close to retirement then, and I am guessing he was sent there just to kickstart things by creating a buzz. I still remember his trademark serving style and game. He lost pretty early on, but it was well worth it. He used to be called 'Boom Boom' Becker for good reason. Many generations of amateur tennis players have attempted to imitate his action. ( Other actions that I just cannot forget - Pete Sampras, Goran Ivanesevic. Thats it I think! And yes, John McKenroe. How could I!!)
Anyway, during those first years I was still in school. PSBB. (Begin Digression) I had shifted there for a more 'competitive' atmosphere and to help me to get into IIT. Those days were crazy. In addition to school, I used to have close to 15 hours a week of coaching classes, and on top of that I had to find time to study for both. I also was psychotic enough to apply to the US for undergraduate studies. So much work and tension. I seriously wonder how I did it. I didn't do anything for 2 years, except study of course. No tennis. No time for friends. No movies. No nothing. My ex-classmates in Sishya used to have a blast. Was very irritating to hear their stories! No, I don't want to go through it again. But, I guess those 2 years made me, for better or for worst is open for contest! (End Digression) The school is a street away from the Nungambakkam Stadium, and hence 3 streets away from my grandfathers house. Most of my coaching classes were held in the Nungambakkam area, so I used to practically live with my grandfather. The Open used to be a welcome break during my winter vacation.
And then I got into college, and the first half of December used to go in preparation for the inter-IIT sports meet. For those who don't know I used to play tennis for IIT Madras. (Don't think its some major thing. It quite amateurish. If you can hold a racquet and kind of make contact with the ball, you are through!) The second half of December used to be at the sports meet held in rotation at each of the six (?) IITs. The entire IIT contigent used to board the train and go across to the other IIT. My main crib about playing tennis is that we had to play for almost the entire day, and had little time to watch the other teams play. The TT guys used to play for about 45 minutes and faff around for the rest of the day. Anyway, thanks to the small size (4) and the duration of time spent together we ended up becoming pretty close friends. We usually planned something fun post meet. You also met all kinds of people. And IIT people do IIT things so you end up bumping into them here and there and everywhere. It is actually quite surprising. My tennis partner in UIUC was my opponent from IIT Bombay! Anyway, I used to come back just in time for the New Year, and the Open. On one of the finals, when the winner hit the ball into the air, I caught it, almost. It slipped out of my hand and my friend took it. Drat!
Now I am in the US. I always end up spending my winter in India and since the Open is always in the first week of January, I make it a point to go. Of late I have become addicted to the serve gun. I always have a go at it, but I never used to be able to get a good speed on it. Well, things have changed. I managed to hit one at 159 Kmph. I think in reality I my serve is 20 Kmph faster, with a better racket and a better gun. One of the pros had been asked to serve there for publicity purposes, and he clocked 162 Kmph, which I just don't believe. That guy had just beaten the previous year's finalist. I am sure the poor things that get hit by his racket rocket by at 180+ Kmph. My brother did 171 Kmph btw. It's might actually be more. He is this big really strong tall guy and the thing usually reaches me at about shoulder height, and, you just have enough time to blink. So, when I play with him, I quite naturally fear for my physical safety.
Another thing is that I keep bumping into people at the Open. Old coaches, school mates, acquaintances from here and there. The crowd is also quite 'happening' crowd, if you know what I mean. And, a fair number of celebrities. So, if you don't wan't to see the tennis, there are always other things to see!
All said, hope I make it next winter! I know there are some readers out there who are going to say, "Ha! You will probably make it next spring, summer, fall and winter."

Reverse Grunfeld

Heard in conversation today:
'When the going gets tough, call dad.'
Quite a bit to blog about. Post(s) coming up soon.
- General ranting and raving
- General reflections, observations on life
- Chennai Open (thats all I have done all week, and it was nice)
Was going through my older posts. My blog is 2 years old on Jan 16th, and I am dangerously close to my 100th post. I remember deciding to start a blog one freezing night, alone at the lab in INSA-Lyon, bored out of my mind. It has inadvertantly ended up reflecting at some level my ups and downs over the last couple of years. Though it is not a personal diary per se, the posts actually do bring back a lot of memories, to me. See, I am the only person who knows the context of my life!
I find it funny that when things aren't going your way in life, it looks like nothing has been or ever can be right. There seems to be something wrong with everything. The world is one huge train wreck. Then, things look up, and its all good. Nothing has ever been or can ever go wrong. How we humans like to deceive ourselves. Too much rationality makes life boring I suppose.

Well..

Well, I was driving down Mount Road on my beloved Kinetic Marvel. There is signal where the 'Woodlands Road' (the one with the American Consulate) cuts across Gemini Flyover and Mount Road. As I was waiting on the signal, I see a policeman walk towards me. My mind starts racing. What have I done wrong? Has my number plate fallen off? No it hasn't. Did I speed? Obviously not, I am waiting at a signal for christ's sake. Am I on the wrong side of the road? No I am not. If I was, so were 20 other vehicles. Ah, I got it! He must be coming to me for his new year 'bonus'! Do I have money? Yes, I do, but not really! Not enough of a 'bonus'! Hell! So, he comes up to me and hands me a white card.

'Chennai Traffic Police wishes you a happy new year!'

What has the world come too?? Not bad I say! Happy new year to all!

It's good to be back in India. Old haunts. Old friends. Old times I dare say. IIT. OAT. Go-carting. Coffee. Tennis. Time passsing. Spent new years eve watching a movie at the Open Air Theatre in IIT with Arrvindh and Vikas. In how many theatres can you lie down and watch the movie? In how many theatres can you watch the movie AND the stars at the same time? Ok ok. You got it. I like the OAT. We had gone there a little earlier, and the staff actually allowed us to enter the projector room. As a matter of fact, we were given a guided tour of the premisis. They have 2 projectors, one 35 years old and the other 15. Though I kind of expected it, it was still a bit difficult to believe.
Then dinner at Dhaba Express. Dinner for 3 for 94 Rs. Not a bad deal no? :D Then went to the beach. The beach was bad. There were about gazillion people there, each coming on the expectation that something was going to happen. Well, something did happen, there were a lot of people there with the expectation that something was going to happen. But, nothing did happen. I also found it weird that 99.99% of the population there was male!!
Today was the go-carting experience with Prahlad, Vishnu and Arrvindh. Then dinner at down on East Coast Road. I have never been on that road let alone to Mayajaal or any of the umpteen places, though I have lived in the city all my life!But, there is always a first time! I had slightly inflated expectations and I was let down. It's just a 2 lane road, and there is not even a divider between the opposing lanes of traffic. It's crazy because there are people who drive at 100 kms/hr, and if you want to overtake, you have to take onto the opposing lane, temporarily. The toll for going down that road is 45 Rs, a total ripoff. Anyway, had a great time nevertheless!
The Gold Flake Open starts tomorrow. Bought season tickets. Should be fun. Going back 'home' (UIUC) in 2 weeks looks like such a drag! But, thus is life. Last year was rough. Too many things hanging in the air. I can still see things hanging, a problem here, a pain in the ass there, disaster here, catastrophe there. Yeah yeah, I know I have to get back to you only. What will I do without you? Anyway, you will have to wait. A little while.

PS: ARGHHHH I deleted this accidentally while tooling around with my blog. I somehow managed to restore the text but the comments are gone!! Hate it!!!